Sunday, June 6, 2010

summertime lovin

Hey... its been a few days since I've last posted anything on here....and I meant to post on those days too..but then i got distracted. During the day something would happen...and I would say to myself I should write about that..or I should post that...and then when the time comes to do it..I totally forget about it.
Anyways..friday was my birthday..and I loved it. It was great to see friends I hadnt seen in awhile..and it was fun watching all my friends interact together..because some of them didnt know one another. I love all my friends..and I realize..i wouldnt be the person I am today without them. There are so many people that the Lord has blessed me with in this life that Im continuously grateful for. I know more than anyone that Im not always easy to be around...Im not always the nicest person in the world..even though I try so hard to be. There are times I demand I am right...when in reality I am wrong. I get caught up in the moment and forget to say thank you..to those who really deserve one. There are so many people that I love...but I to hastily forget to tell them. Knowing all of that makes me sad.. becuase I realize life is short..I realize we never know when it could end. I go to bed mad..and I dont forgive easily..and the words I am sorry..dont come out of my mouth enough. SO....heres to all my friends...all my family...and everyone that puts up with me. I know Im not some famous person..and Im not the most incredible person in this life... and what I say might not be talked about on CNN...and all those newspapers...and I know you wont see my picture in a magazine...and honestly..for all of that I am forever grateful, but I want you to know..that I am so thankful for you. I am so thankful for all the laughter..and hugs. I am so thankful for the listening ears and shoulders to lean on when Im not the strongest person in the world. I am so thankful for you still loving me...even after I have been a witch to deal with. I am so thankful for you still being my friend..and am so thanful that you are still willing to ride with me...even if im not the greatest driver. Im so thankful for all of that and more..
While driving three hours in my car yesterday..by myself!...i had alot to think about. I thought about the friends wedding I just got done attending...I thought about my birthday the day before..and I how even if I had my doubts..I shouldve realized all along that my friends would make it grand and wonderful..I thought about my little miss Katlyn..and how strong she is..and how incredible she is...and how there is no way I could ever be just like her.. I thought about a song that had just come on the radio and how true it was. (A Father's Love-Bucky Covington). I thought about all those nights that I screamed and yelled...about stupid stuff..and how spoiled and rotten and ungrateful I probably seemed.. In reality. I am grateful...so grateful..even if I dont say it.. I thought about a guy...who confused me...and I think some of my friends too.. I thought about what he said over and over again..and I dont..know..i wish I knew what to do..but i still dont.
I know who I am...somewhat..I know who I want to be.. I still have questions..about everything.. that ever goes on..but I think im supposed to. I dont know..the plans God has for me.. I just pray that I am smart enough to listen to him. I know my stubborness gets in the way sometimes..and I pray that it wont.
So...right now...I am Heather Marie...and I am a 19 year old sophomore in college that loves her Lord...her friends..and her family(even my yorkie that keeps barking at me). I am a person who makes mistakes..and always will..I am stubborn...insecure...and a little bit crazy...and misunderstood..but I am ME.....and thats who i want to be.

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